Sociometry
by lightjirachi97
Summary: rather random. hope you like it anyway!


Sociometry

_Author's Note__: _

This fanfic is written by Yami Glaceon & Light Jirachi. A.K.A. Cheryl and Paige

Pairings involved? Obviously Laviyuu. Porno Grafitti song. Haha

Credits to Katsura Hoshino for creating the 2010 calendar March-April & KOTOKO for creating Sociometry.

Yami Glaceon writes in _italics_ and Light Jirachi writes normally. Like dis = normal

Okay, this fanfic is called Sociometry… Name chosen by Yami Glaceon… By the way, this fanfic was Yami G.'s idea. We're in a writing team with Mokona and Pikachu. You might have heard about them. I'm Jirachi, by the way. Yami G. seems to have forgotten about the editing and started using the internet. Pika is snoring and Mokona is drinking more sake. *sigh* So its up to me huh… Oh, for your info, I did a bit of editing here and there in the fanfic. So all the editing credits go to ME. Light Jirachi. Remember that.

LIGHT JIRACHI

And offline,

YAMI GLACEON

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CHAPTER 1:

"_Okay, you both, you'll have to go on a mission together. No matter how much you hate it, you still have to go." Komui muttered. "You still have to go to Misaki City to recover the three portions of an Innocence. The 'guardians' of the Innocence will be waiting for you and they will guide you from then on. They should be Shana, Wilhelmina and Margery if I'm not mistaken." At the end of his long speech, Komui promptly turned around and put a long overdue folder begging for signature on his head. Meaning 'Shut up and get a move on already. Don't bother me you ass'_

"_But Komui-san –" Lavi interrupted._

_Komui just slouched further into his office chair. Then responded in a sleepy tone, "They can see the Innocence, but they don't know that it is an Innocence. They call it a Hougu. Bring it back to the Order."_

"_How exactly are we going to get there?" Lavi asked Komui. _

"_Through this specially created Innocence which is what we call the Amethyst Star," continued Komui, holding up a small purple gem. As his hand swayed about because of his muscles which had the strength of jelly, the light rays bounced off the Innocence's glittering surface, causing the two exorcists to squint._

"_I'll be sending you off now~__" Komui waved the Innocence around before throwing the gem to Lavi. _

"_Ah, let's go now Yuu-chan__~" said Lavi happily as he caught the Innocence. "Bye Komui-san__~" _

_At the sight of the two Exorcists leaving his office, Komui waved and offered a small smile before resting his feet on his messy work table. A small avalanche of overdue paperwork showered on the section leader Reever. "You lazy sister-crazed moron!" Yelled Reever furiously, trying to push the papers into Komui's hands. But the Head would not hear of such a thing. He did the next best thing. He got up and ran. "CHIEF KOMUI!!!!" shouted Reever, chasing the lazy Head around in circles around the desk._

_At the sight of this familiar scene, Lavi could not help but smile. He took a good look at the messy room before he closed the door on the two scientists and following his fellow Exorcist along who was waiting outside the corridor._

_It would be a while before he would be able to see that scene again._

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_

_Both of them strolled into the woods, ready to activate the Innocence. "Ready Yuu-chan?" asked Lavi, who was looking at Kanda as if he was some kind of long lost lover. "Hmph." Was the answer. Lavi took that as a yes. _

_Touching the Amethyst Star, they were immediately enveloped in darkness._

_Wherever Kanda turned to look for his team mate, he only saw miles and miles of black void._

"_Stupid rabbit?" Kanda called out, secretly wishing that Lavi was right next to him. He took care to call the other Exorcist 'stupid rabbit' to mask his concern. _

"_Yuu-chan? I was wondering where you were. I'm next to you." Came Lavi's reply._

_As if to prove that what he said was true, Lavi reached out his hand and touched Kanda's shoulder. _

"_I think we're falling through the void." Lavi stated, gripping onto Kanda's jacket more firmly. _

"_Che, you're scared."_

_Instead of flinching from the cold response like most people, Lavi merely wrapped himself around Kanda._

"_WHAT THE–"_

_Before Kanda could shout a vulgarity at the red head, he was suddenly blinded by an intense light. It felt like many tiny little swords were piercing his eyeballs and it made them water. Then he felt to hands around him. _

_Lavi's hands. _

_Lavi._

_He closed his eyes and braced himself for a painful fall._

"Yuu-chan? Yuu-chan?"

Nng. Stupid rabbit's voice.

"Hey Yuu-chan, stop sleeping."

So? Who cares? What are you doing in my room anyway? Get out you asshole.

"Chopped hair, can go already?"

Chopped… Hair…

Instinctively, Kanda jolted upwards and opened his eyes.

"See? Knew that'd work!" Lavi prided himself. Ignoring Lavi, Kanda was caught by the the world before them.

Why the f*** was Misaki City a garden?

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"Ah, look Yuuji, its those visitors."

Kanda stood up properly and turned to face a petite girl. She only reached to about his waist level and she looked only about ten years old, but the determination and confidence in her voice gave her a sense of maturity beyond her years. Her hair was coal black and flowed past her slender waist. Her eyes were bright with a mixture of curiosity, suspicion and wonder. It almost seemed as though they were on fire.

A taller boy stood behind her with a WTF look on his face. He had brown hair and a uniform which suggested that he was a high school student. He looked perfectly ordinary in contrast to the little girl.

Silent messages were sent between the two Exorcists.

Lavi: Yowza. She's hot

Kanda: Che. Who the hell are they?

Lavi: She's hot

Kanda: Shut up

"I'm Shana," the girl nodded. "The Mistes is Yuuji."

Mistes? What the hell?

"A strange guy called earlier. A weirdo with a singsong type of voice. He kept giving me all the details of you two. According to that unidentified geek, one of you has a temper problem."

Komui, you're dead.

"Yuuji and I need to go to attend to business now," Shana said curtly, interrupting Kanda's fantasies of slicing the Head into tiny little pieces. "Don't leave the house. And don't go out." Shana then grabbed Yuuji, who had been standing silently by her side the entire time, by the hand and broke into a fast run.

The two Exorcists stood in the backyard of Shana's house, listening to Yuuji's agonized screams of protest as he was dragged away by the girl nearly half his size.

When they stepped into the well cleaned house, they were greeted by a smell of what smelled like stale fish balls. They nearly puked. "Hello? Anybody home?" Lavi called out politely.

Upon entering the kitchen, they saw a lady with short, purple hair. On the top of her head rested a sort of cloth which suggested that she was probably a maid.

"Eh…"

The lady turned around at the sound of Lavi's attempt to speak.

She had deep purple eyes and she was wearing a starched blue and white maid outfit. She had a porcelain, expressionless face which made her look rather doll-like. She appeared to be in her twenties. On her feet were yellow fluffy slippers which looked one size too big. It looked like the sort one would wear while using the toilet.

"I am Wilhelmina Carmel. I assume you are the visitors that…" she trailed off. She glanced at the note she had stuck onto the fridge.

'KOMUI' It read in neat, even writing.

"Komui-san sent?" she finished off her speech in a flat tone.

Lavi stared.

She had a really really really really really really really really really really really really really really REALLY pretty face.

" STRIKE!!!! !!!!!!!!!"

Kanda felt like running Lavi through with his mugen. He could just investigate himself and leave the body here with this lady.

"Yeah Komui-san dumped us here ."

"I see," Wilhelmina nodded. "You can sleep in the spare room then. But the girl will have to share a room with either myself or Shana." She directed her gaze at Kanda who had been entertaining thoughts of ways he could dispose of Lavi's body.

The word 'the girl' and Wilhelmina's unblinking gaze brought him back to earth.

It was a painful fall that landed him 100m deep in the dirt.

"Eh? Since when were you a girl, Yuu? "

"WHAT THE BEEP?!?!?!"

"You're a male?" Came Wilhelmina's dull voice but this time with a tinge of amusement in it. But still, just by hearing her voice, one could say that she was stating a fact. "Mmm? I thought Yuu was a girl? "

Kanda wasn't listening to Wilhelmina. He didn't plan to anyway. He was busy throttling the infatuated Lavi going "I'M A BOY I'M A BOY I'M A BOY I'M A BOY I'M A BOY I'M A BOY I'M A BOY I'M A BOY I'M A BOY I'M A BOY I'M A BOY I'M A BOY I'M A BOY I'M A BOY I'M A BOY GET IT?????????"

"Eh? "

Unfortunately, it's no use talking to Lavi in strike mode.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND????"

Last resort – talk in random language.

"YOU GET IT??"

"You typed in Webdings. Cheat. Cheat. Cheater. Fat Cheater."

_That was surprisingly, Wilhelmina._

_What the hell? Was this supposed to be happening?!?!_

"_Shut up!" Kanda yelled furiously. _

"_We're going to sleep in the goddamn spare room! I don't care!!!" _

_Kanda pulled the lust struck man by his back to the spare room upstairs. _

"_Humans are strange things." Wilhelmina commented under her breath. She turned around and resumed her attempts to cook some curry._

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
_

_The spare room was easy to spot. _

_A prankster had pasted: _

_SLEEP IN ME!_

_on the door of the room._

_Once in the room, the two Exorcists put their trunks down. _

"_HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_

_Echoes…_

_There was only one king-sized bed. Woop._

_He saw Lavi looking euphoric._

"_WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING?!?!" _

_Lavi turned to look at his fellow Exorcist with a cheeky and half day-dreamy grin. _

"_Oh? __ Nothing…__ guess we'll have to sleep together…__"_

"_Urusei! Won't that lady get the wrong idea?!?!"_

_Kanda went quite pink, and that seemed to amuse Lavi._

"_We're here to retrieve the Innocence! Nothing else!" _

_It was then when the duo heard the front door smash open and a loud voice, "Wilhelmina! Can we eat yet?" _

_It was Shana's melodic voice with a clear sound of frustration in it. "Yes. Please help me call the two boys down." Came Wilhelmina's instant reply._

"_Eh? Boys? Isn't there a girl? The one with long blue hair and sideburns?"_

_Kanda nearly ripped his ponytail right off his head._

_After a strange but filling dinner of what Wilhelmina stated was 'curry', all them returned to their respective rooms while Wilhelmina did the dishes. _

"For the record, I don't think curry is supposed to be milky and sour." Lavi whispered into Kanda's ear secretly.

"No lumps?"

"No lumps. I think that was floating chicken fat."

Kanda was very nearly sick.

"There was also a slight kopi taste to it. Wonder what that ingredient was. Oh, did you notice what oil she used? I think I saw a can of gasoline before I left the kitchen."

Can you shut up Lavi? You're making me sick.

"And she put some weird black muck into the pan AND the chicken. Looked like tree bark and did I mention that the chicken was overcooked?"

Shut. Up. You. Asshole.

"_Shut up about the horrible cooking!!" Kanda yelled a little too loudly._

_Lavi, afraid that Wilhelmina would hear him, pushed him down onto the bed, covering his mouth. _

"_Shh! Don't let her hear!" Lavi whispered urgently._

"_其时我也不是不想__,__但是我害羞__,__我想对你说__,__但我怕我说错__, __爱你爱你啊…" _

_Yami G.'s note: haha, yes, 933. Kanda sang! Wowzas. Jirachi will translate for you~_

_Light Jirachi: "Its not that I don't think of it, but I'm embarrassed. I want to tell you, but I'm afraid that I'll say something wrong, I love you…"_

"_Did you just –"_

"_NO! I never say anything! Go ask Wilhelmina-san. I'm gonna sleep."_

_With that, Kanda lay on the bed and rolled over to prove his point._

_Lavi looked at Kanda's back and tilted his head to one side thinking. _

"_I'm not very good at Chinese… so…" he muttered to himself as he silently closed the door behind him. _

_Maybe Wilhelmina-san would understand._

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
_

"_Yuu! __Yuu! __" yelled Lavi._

"_I found out the meaning of what you said yesterday!" Lavi continued, pouncing on Kanda playfully and slapping him on the cheeks. (lol, drama)_

"_Wilhelmina-san said you meant you liked the curry!"_

_Don't talk rubbish. _

"_But other then that rough idea, she had no idea."_

_Brilliant, just brilliant._

_As the morning sun shone on Kanda's pale face, he opened his eyes and sat up slowly._

_Lavi was lying next to him like a puppy dog. _

_Scratch that. Like a rabbit._

"_Ah, did I tell you that I'm no longer Bookman Junior?" Lavi flipped over on his side and grinned at Kanda. "This guy called Remus Romulus wanted to be one. So I decided to let him take my place for a bit. Gramps was fine with that idea. So I'm currently all Exorcist~__"_

_Kanda actually felt his heart leap at Lavi's last sentence._

_But he was confused – why did he feel that way? It ached, yet it felt good. _

_Kanda brushed those feelings away and decided to make a simple comment._

"_You must be happy."_

_Short and sweet._

"_Of course! __I can be with you!" Lavi cheered._

_Very unexpected comment._

"_WHAT THE –"_

"_Oh yeah, Komui-san called in the morning today. He told us that while Remus was slaving away to Gramps, he's give us the title of Dimensional Travelers for the moment. The job normally goes to Celebi, but for the moment Celebi seems to be on holiday or something."_

"_To hell with that Celevi or what ever that thing is. I don't care. And I thought Innocences' only work with compatible people?"_

"_Apparently, the Amethyst Star is a special Innocence that works only for two people. Both have to be able to synchronize with the Innocence and they must already be accommodators of another Innocence."_

"_Hmph."_

_Suddenly it stuck him._

"_HOLY SHIT!! THAT MEANS I'M GONNA BE STUCK WITH THIS STUPID RABBIT UNTIL THAT F***ING CELEBI COME BACK????"_

"_And Remus."_

_Unbelievable._

"_But we'll get to go on many missions together~__"_

_This sentence caught Kanda._

"_I…I…" Kanda stopped in mid-sentence._

"_Eh? Why are you turning red, Yuu-chan? __" Lavi peered closely at Kanda's crimson face._

"_NO! Nothing! Shut the trap up!" Kanda yelled furiously at Lavi. "And get your face away from me!!"_

_As Lavi backed off, Kanda pulled the covers around him again and tried to fall asleep again._

_Many thoughts raced through Lavi's confused mind._

_Why had Kanda responded that way?_

_And why did Kanda stammer? He wasn't the stammering sort. _

_What are the chances that Kanda liked him and Lavi liked Kanda?_

"_Hey… Yuu-chan…"_

_Kanda was jolted from his nearly falling to sleep trance and looked up, clearly irritated _

"_What?" He snapped rudely._

"_Do you like me?"_

_Kanda felt emotions rush through him like waves._

_Confusion, anger, amusement, lust, yearning and fear._

_His lips were about to let loose all the expletives he knew at the wide-eyed Exorcist sitting next to him._

_To his surprise, the red-haired Exorcist put his hand onto Kanda's mouth. _

"_!"_

"_I know the answer. How did we end up liked this, I wonder…" _

_Lavi gazed out of the window._

"_Because I find myself hopelessly attracted to you when you're around me most of the time. I couldn't tell you about this strange feeling as Bookman Junior. But now that we're alone, I seem to have found the courage to voice my thoughts."_

_Kanda was stunned._

_So this stupid, red-haired rabbit had lusting over HIM. That was a sick thought._

_So sick that he felt like slapping Lavi._

_But at the same time, he felt a sense of relief washing over him. He looked at Lavi who had put on a torn face. _

_It didn't feel good._

_It felt as if some part of him were dying._

_There was only one thing he could think of to fix that._

_他们拥抱在一起__._

_**Yami G.:**__ HAHAHAH!!! MADE IT_

_It says – they hugged. Whoohoo!!! *swoons*_

_**Light Jirachi :**__ *sigh*_

_Kanda actually felt good. He found himself enjoying the warmth of Lavi's body pressed tight against his._

_However, that was when Wilhelmina entered the room to collect the laundry._

"_Oh gods, what the hell happened. You two – husband and wife?"_

_That woman… she seemed to have forgotten Kanda's claim of being a male the night before._

_The two Exorcists sat there frozen._

"…"

"_Er…"_

_As Lavi tried to think of an explanation, they sprang apart. _

_What was there to say? _

"_Er… We're both boys, Wilhelmina-san."_

_That was the best Lavi could think of._

_Kanda didn't care. He was busy hiding his chest._

_Although this was so embarrassing that he wanted to bury himself, he realised he enjoyed Lavi's company. If word got out that any of this happened, they'd be the laughing stock of the Science Department. Heck, the entire Order. That joker had better watch out. He would live for another three short and painful seconds._

"_Gods, you two are the same gender?" Wilhelmina couldn't feign surprise. She actually looked rather bored. Maybe she was used to it. That Yuuji guy actually looked rather gay…_

"_Erm… I think you should leave, Wilhelmina-san," said Lavi in his most polite tone, " 'cos Yuu's rather… eh…"_

_Wilhelmina didn't bother to argue or comment. In fact, she was already walking steadily out of the room without any trace of being shaken by two males hugging. _

Which other kind soul would react that way?

Certainly not Komui.

Lavi shifted towards Kanda and whispered, "I think we had better keep our relationship a secret. You know what will happen if Komui just gets one minor hint."

That was Kanda's worst nightmare.

"Wakarimashita."

After some thankfully normal breakfast of leftover melon bread, the two Exorcists found themselves being guided along the streets by Wilhelmina to the Innocence.

After cutting through multiple alley ways, they three of them arrived at the bank of a large river.

"This is Mana not walker River. Underneath the river is a large cave. Please wait while I open the portal." Wilhelmina announced and gestured for Kanda and Lavi to step back.

The two Exorcists did as told.

They heard the expressionless woman mutter a few foreign sounding words in a monotone and the waters in front of her parted magically, rising high like two columns of water.

The sand below was a bleached white because of the lack of sunlight. There was a cave in the middle of the dry sand.

Wilhelmina stood rooted to the bank with her arms thrust sideways. She nodded her head and signaled for the duo to enter the hole.

"Let's hurry, Yuu-chan. I don't think Wilhelmina-san can keep this up for so long."

To Lavi's surprise, he thought he heard Wilhelmina give a soft snort.

The teen Exorcists jumped into the shallow hole. It only reached to the tip of Lavi's head when they entered it and it was entirely dark. Facing such darkness made Kanda think of back in the portal that the Amethyst Star created to send them to Misaki City. Or more accurately, Shana's backyard.

The feeling of being unable to see Lavi made him feel sick.

"Hey Yuu-chan, don't stand there spacing out." Lavi waved a hand in front of Kanda's face. "Keep a look out for any Akuma."

Lavi paused.

"I feel sorta bad for leaving Wilhelmina-san out there alone. Can she defend herself?"

"If she can lift the water up this high, she should have some other weird power or something." Kanda reminded Lavi, dragging his feet through the thick coat of sand.

"Oh yeah. Hey what about –" Lavi broke off in mid-sentence as a brilliant red light blinded him. He shielded his one eye with his hand, his other hand already fingering his hammer, ready for an Akuma attack.

"What the hell is that?" Kanda exclaimed, shielding his eyes.

As they closed in, they saw it.

The Innocence.

It looked like it was made of genuine ruby and it was carved into the delicate shape of a lily.

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**Light Jirachi: **well, hoped you enjoyed our first story!

**Yami Glaceon: **nyup nyup.... zzz.....

**Light Jirachi: **........


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